Today (October 10) is World Mental Health Day.

Today (October 10) is World Mental Health Day. This year’s theme is suicide prevention.
So let’s talk about this somewhat heavy problem.

In many countries of the world, especially in economically developed areas, the suicide rate of men is significantly higher than that of women. In Balkans, Slavia and other places, the suicide rate of men is even several times higher than that of women. In China, the suicide rate of women is higher than that of men. Most of the women who commit suicide come from rural areas in backward areas.
Maybe many people will feel that the tremendous pressure of urban life and economic development will lead people to self-end. However, it is counter-intuitive that the suicide rate has decreased by 60% in the fast-growing economy of China since the 1990s, which is rare in the world.
One of the important reasons is urbanization.
The suicide rate of women has dropped from nearly 30 per 100,000 to about 10. This is almost all due to Urbanization – liberating women from the power and economic structure of traditional rural areas and giving them space for independence and freedom. When women who leave the countryside can go to the city to work and earn their own money, such a life, no matter how hard or tired, is of great significance to them. This is beyond the comprehension of those who accuse sweatshops in the West (of course, sweatshops themselves have their own problems, click here).

Emile Durkheim analyzed several causes of suicide in his famous Suicide Theory. Among them, the disorder caused by social anomie and the atomization brought by social disintegration kept the suicide rate of Protestant countries and industrial and commercial societies in a high level. He pointed out that the unity brought about by the traditional social structure, as well as marriage, community and other forms, can deepen the bondage and sense of responsibility between people, so that people are not so easy to commit suicide.
However, in this 400-page book, he only mentions it in a few words – in a tight society, under strict rules, the disadvantaged in the social structure may also tend to commit suicide.
For example, married men are less likely to commit suicide, but among married women, marriage does not show "protection" against suicide; the more traditional and difficult the divorce, the more likely women are to commit suicide.
In the Durkheim era, there was no gender study; the entire sociological community had to wait until Jane Addams before female sociologists concerned about family and poverty entered the once male-only club.
There is no doubt that Durkheim’s research is great. But what is important is that later sociologists based on his research and experienced constant self-criticism and innovation. Now we have realized that the liberation and progress of human beings as a whole is not a matter of overnight, nor can it be represented by a group.

Let’s look back at men.
Young and middle-aged men living in cities are more likely to die of suicide than others – including car accidents, tobacco and alcohol, and cardiovascular diseases. Such a situation is not just a simple description of "atomization" in the Durkheim era.
Suicide victims will naturally encounter a variety of psychological problems, but psychological problems are only the appearance of social problems. Rory O’Connor, professor of psychology at Glasgow University and President of the Global Suicide Research Institute, believes that "social perfectionism" is the main social cause of male suicide in wealthy countries.
People are living more and more in the expectations of society, and with the development of economy and society, such expectations are more and more, more and more abundant, more and more breathless.
This kind of pressure is equal to men and women. However, under the traditional gender roles and stereotypes, men are more reluctant to seek help, more likely to isolate themselves, and more likely to end their lives recklessly.

Society is progressing and developing, but people, especially men themselves, still hold the view of "masculinity" in the 1950s. Sarmatisan, a suicide aid group, wrote in a 2012 report: "Men… Still pursuing the "golden standard" of masculinity, pursuing power, control and invincibility. And when they feel they can’t meet these standards, they feel ashamed and fail. "
Women in modern society have been actively liberating themselves, while men have not yet fully liberated themselves, some people have not even realized the seriousness of the problem. Gender stereotypes and gender power are two sides of the same coin – in a society that encourages the pursuit of free development, they bind women and men, and the cost of such bindings, even self-destruction.
Men can be gentle or fragile, and this society should allow men to cry. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing is more important than your life.

Earlier this year, one of my long-time friends who had never met me committed suicide and died. After learning the news, I was shocked to say nothing. This talented, thoughtful, interesting, courteous, confident and easy-going little brother, not long before he committed suicide, told us about his business and comforted me with complaints in the circle of friends.

I hope he can be happy in heaven – or more importantly, he can really find freedom.
May each of us find freedom, acknowledge our value and have a real connection with the world.